The Elf on the Shelf, a sweet book which comes with a cute elf doll, has been quite the phenomenon for the past few years. After enjoying the story and naming the elf, parents place the elf in fun to find places throughout the house everyday. This shows how the elf moves around the house, gets into mischief, but most importantly spies on the little children and goes to tattle on them to Santa every night.
For more info- http://www.elfontheshelf.com/
The famous song- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtytbHrs5RY&noredirect=1 reminds children that during the night or day, Santa's watching! What a great way to encourage positive behavior! You are being watched, all day and all night.... and the amount and quality of presents you will receive on Christmas depends on you behavior! But don't worry this form of discipline is not from your parents, they're just here to remind you. This does make for easier "discipline" for them but is it best for children?
While the book and doll are very sweet, there is something I find quite disturbing about the whole thing. Parents use this as their means of discipline during the holidays. It's a nice break from having to be the "bad guys". All you have to do this point out to the children that their behavior determines the "gifts" they will receive and that they are being watched. This is very manipulative.
I see three things particularly wrong with this.
1. This is a complete misunderstanding of what discipline is. Maria Montessori saw discipline as in internal developmental process in which the child learns to control his impulses. She did not find rewards and punishments to be the way to achieve this. Discipline is a life long process and should not simply be the means to an end such as avoiding the tantrum in the store by threatening coal.
2. This is feeding children lies. While there is a beauty to the myth of Santa, why are we forcing children to believe this? This creates a lack of trust. It is very illogical. Why spend so much time making "Santa" real and no or little time on Christ who is actually real?! Children have a need for reality. Maria Montessori always emphasized children's need for reality.Anyone who has spent time with children will know that the line between reality and fiction is very blurry for young children (until about age 5-6).
3. Christmas is about Christ, the King of kings making himself man for our salvation. THE greatest gift of all. But we do not receive this gift because we "earned" it by being "good". A gift is receiving something even if we do not deserve it. It is something done out of love, not out of manipulation! A gift loses its meaning if it has to be earned. A true gift is free, with no strings attached, and with no expectation of anything in return.
Anyway, here are my thoughts. What is the real focus of Christmas? How do we make Christmas real for children? How do you celebrate Christmas with your children?
Edit- please note- I love St. Nicholas, he is a holy example of faith and generosity. I love teaching the children about him and loved when my dad would dress up like him and hand us out gifts. It is lovely to offer gift in remembrance of his life. This very different from Santa Claus (inspired by St. Nick) who is fictional.
Two other blog posts on the topic
http://nateandrachael.com/believe-or-not-to-believe-in-santa-claus/
http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/11/29/the-christmas-conundrum
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